One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves—and those around us—is to stretch and broaden our minds (and hearts), which stretches and broadens our existence and presence in the world. As I contemplate life and a new year, my wish is for continued growth in understanding and acceptance within ourselves and with one another: bettering connections and building stronger relationships, families and community. In continuation of the “guiding lights” I shared in my October editor letter, perhaps you’ll explore the following concepts as your own as you plot and plan your resolve for the New Year. 

Pinpoint moments when you have had your heart broken and take notice of the stories you formed about yourself in those moments. We get to choose the stories we tell ourselves, so when your story makes you feel less than (anything), change the story. If it isn’t helping you level up in life, it isn’t the correct story. You have the power to override limiting beliefs—whether those beliefs come from others, or from within you. 

It doesn’t have to be your success in order to embrace it as such. When you surround yourself with those who are rising, you will rise, too, especially if you celebrate their success as your own possibility. In the same vein, spend time with—and listen to the feedback of—those who bring the magic out of you, not the madness. When you see someone living out loud in their life—and realize it’s not a competition—you are able to embrace the inspiration as an extension of your own life, allowing actions to create belief for your own path toward success. Find people who dazzle you and open yourself up for the adventure of becoming a dazzler, too. 

It’s hard to see the picture when you are in the frame. As a social society, our lives are about so much more than our own journeys. When your confidence shifts about showing up in any way—whether in a relationship or for a professional endeavor—take your concerns of self out of the equation and focus on the task or the people in front of you. The world needs you to show up unhindered (not to be confused with showing up unhinged) by concerns about how you look or sound or seem. You are who you are, and that will do in all you do. Whenever I hop on my podcast, or stand in front of a room full of people with a microphone in hand, I let go of all concerns about how I showed up and focus on the people and the purpose in front of me. It’s so much easier to get over yourself (and your hangups and bangups) when you understand you are a conduit—not a wall—for important work in life and love. 

Don’t make peace with other people’s suffering. There isn’t any such thing as other people’s children, or other people’s pain … humans are a collective body of beings contributing to the experience and reality of one another, whether or not you can detect it. Keep caring for the plight of others, even if they are a starving child thousands of miles away, or someone losing their life while seeking asylum from unthinkable circumstances, or a person without a home and stability wandering the streets of your city. Everything becomes relatable when you place the faces of your loved ones on the faces of those who are suffering beyond comprehension. You don’t have to know how to solve the atrocious realities of others, or how to create change, to stay uncomfortable with appalling crimes against humanity. Do whatever it takes for your heart to stay soft and to care beyond your own existence and livelihood. The world needs that flow of collective tenderness, which will, indeed, make a difference. 

Give others the opportunity to be heroes. Heroes cannot become without first being given a need to fulfill. Let your needs be known to those you trust so they have the opportunity to rush into your life and be a safety net in some way, even when it feels uncomfortable or unreasonable. It’s as much our responsibility to share our needs with others as it is to be aware of the needs of those around us. Stay vulnerable, look for the helpers (be one when you are able to)—and continue deepening the connections in your life. There isn’t a person on this planet who should do life alone. Allow people to rise to the occasion of you. 

Living big grace for yourself and others while extending scandalous generosity is one of my favorite notions Life Center’s Pastor Joe Wittwer shared over the holidays. I’ve tucked that one deep down and remind myself often that we are all equals in worth and in “sin,” and there is no greater glory than being tender toward myself and others … which makes extending massive amounts of grace and generosity to one another less of a distant fantasy and more of an attainable gift I wish for us all. 

Thank you for your continued readership of Spokane Coeur d’Alene Living magazine. You are a valuable and cherished part of the creation of this magazine. As always, I would love to hear from you, so don’t hesitate to send your thoughts my way. Wishing you one of your best, most grace-filled years yet. 

Your ally, 

Stephanie Regalado

stephanie@spokanecda.com