Ballots were landing in mailboxes as we were finalizing this issue for press, and although I’m fairly decisive—particularly on a press deadline—I found myself at odds as I considered which oval to fill in for the City of Spokane mayoral race. It has never been as simple as choosing red or blue for me, and I try not to get distracted by the game of rhetoric, often played with shapeshifting cow pie frisbees. 

When I don’t know, I listen. So, I posted on Facebook asking for dialogue from my community connections in order to marinate myself in the thoughts of others. Knowing there isn’t a soul on the planet who doesn’t have blind spots and isn’t led by their own biases—including myself—I’ve begun to adopt a “no person is wrong” theory, separating myself or my interests from other people’s ways of thinking, which allows me, for the most part, to listen without letting my hackles rise. And as I attempt to remove judgements from own brain, I’ve begun noting what I read and hear and see as an education and not a threat. For the most part, the comments on the Facebook post were respectfully expressed, which always tugs at my attention. I found an incredible amount of value in witnessing—and being part of—a peaceful, honest discussion as it unfolded, unscripted. My desire was not to adopt other people’s thinking, or to have others do the heavy lifting of decision making for me, but to take it all in and toss it about with my own experiences and thoughts to see what might resonate.

Not every commenter appreciated or approved of my style. It will forever come as a shock to me when adults turn to ridicule and rudeness in order to express themselves and their opinions. I extend grace to them, still, because I realize there are painful life experiences fueling their madness—and, as I always say, how we treat others says more about us, than it does about them. It’s not always easy, angry energy attracts angry energy, but I work hard to keep myself in check this way. One person in particular questioned what value I actually bring to anything (“You and your work don’t make an impact with the real world,” he said) and how I earned the title of editor-in-chief with an approach like mine. He said I was reckless and foolish “to be listening to people that have no idea what is needed for this community.”

This is where the comment thread tour bus, taking look at his every word, stopped for me, and a quote by Zig Zigler rose to the surface—“You don’t build business. You build people and people build the business.”—which translates in my mind to “You don’t build a city. You build people and people build the city.” As my friend Corey Marcoux commented about the people sharing their thoughts, concerns and passions for our city and this mayoral race, “These people are the community. How can the very people who make up this city be considered insignificant when voicing their beliefs and concerns? Who does know what this community needs, if not the people who live in it, contribute to it, benefit from it, build businesses in it, have been let down by it, and who want to see it grow and mature and develop?”

As we continue to address the challenges our community faces, and as we collectively choose our next mayor, I ask that we all keep this notion front and center of our thoughts: if we want to continue building a thriving, robust city full of opportunity, we need to keep listening to one another and building each other up, instead of tearing each other down—no matter our differences. We need to understand that we cannot claim to be for this city—or this country—while simultaneously tearing our neighbors to shreds … because “this city” is the people. I challenge us all to take scandalous amounts of accountability in the mark we are leaving on one another, in the demeanor in which we choose to speak about and to one another, and how it is all connected to the building of our city. 

We are Spokane Coeur d’Alene Living magazine, and we are Spokane and Coeur d’Alene. Please find me on Facebook or Instagram—and hop over to “like” and follow the Spokane Coeur d’Alene Living magazine pages—to stay connected between press dates, and to share your thoughts, stories and life in real time. 

To building the people, and the city, 

Stephanie Regalado
[email protected]