By the time Patricia Simms’s youngest son Mathew was in the fifth grade, there were signs that signaled something was wrong—odd and destructive behaviors, frenzied rages, and even physical attacks on family members. Between 14 and 15, Mathew was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and anorexia, and spent almost a year in a wilderness program and residential treatment center in Salt Lake City.

At 18, Mathew ran away from home and wound up homeless.

Simms, not her real name, says after dealing with Mathew’s mental disorders for a decade, she and her husband were exhausted, stressed out, and worried constantly about what would happen to Mathew and the rest of the family long-term. With two other grown children starting college around that same time, she says they were at their wit’s end.

Around the same time, Patricia discovered NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Health) and a program called Family-to-Family, a class for families, partners and friends of individuals with mental illness. She says the classes were a godsend.

“We had lots of friends who were sympathetic; they loved us, and our children, but they didn’t get it,” Simms says. “We have to talk about mental illness more, and we have to get rid of the stigma around it.”

Simms says their son also agreed to attend NAMI’s 10-week session class called Peer-to-Peer, designed to help adults living with mental health challenges achieve and maintain wellness.

The Numbers

Mental health care experts say one in five adults—43 million Americans—suffer from a diagnosable mental health disorder.

Although most of these conditions are not disabling, nearly 10 million American adults have serious functional impairment due to a mental illness such as a psychotic or serious mood or anxiety disorder, according to the National Institute of Mental Health.

Further, fully 20 percent (1 in 5) of children ages 13 to 18 currently have and/or previously had a seriously debilitating mental disorder.

Experts say most people seem to shy away from or avoid someone experiencing a mental health emergency, and are afraid to intervene or get too close. So, they don’t.

Yet it’s hard to imagine this kind of reaction with other health care issues, Simms says.

“You wouldn’t say someone with a heart attack is a cardio, or someone with diabetes is their disease. Yet, we see this all the time in people with mental disorders. People say they are depressed or psychotic. We are not our disease. We suffer from a disease,” she says.

Many times fear, or the idea that a mental health disorder is a “family matter,” prevents many whose lives have been impacted by it from talking about it, as if it were shameful and not genetically unavoidable, she says.

When Mathew wanted to move back home at 19, the Simmses agreed, after setting ground rules for their son including a commitment that he stay on his medications, and get a job.

Today, he attends NAMI support groups, is employed and is attending a community college.

Family-to-Family

Kenda Hergert, one of about 25 people currently attending NAMI’s Family-to-Family classes every Saturday at Providence Sacred Heart Medical Center, is hoping to gain some clarity about her 40-year-old son who had a manic episode at her sister’s home in California last year.

“My sister called me and said there was something wrong with him, and I drove down there,” Hergert says. “Apparently he had thrown his phone in the ocean because it was evil, and he gave away his laptop to someone on the side of the road who he said needed it.”

There were other symptoms, she says, including reckless spending sprees, changes in sleeping habits, and thoughts about religious healing when he had never previously been religious.

“We took him to an emergency room and they said it wasn’t drug or alcohol related. They told us he needed to get on some medication because they thought he was suffering from bi-polar disorder,” she says.

After keeping him overnight, the doctors said they weren’t sure what was wrong with him, and recommended that he be seen by a mental health provider.

“My son has traveled overseas working with humanitarian groups and going into countries with extreme poverty, and he’s seen some pretty tough things,” she says. “So I thought maybe it was PTSD.”

Hergert convinced her son to return to Spokane where he saw the family doctor. She says it’s been frustrating to find a mental health care provider in Spokane who is taking new patients.

Because her son doesn’t qualify for unemployment because of working overseas, and has no health insurance, he opted to go on the Washington Health Benefit Exchange, and the family is still looking for a mental health provider. Her son is currently attending NAMI support groups and seeing a therapist.

Hergert says attending the classes has helped just by virtue of having others to talk to who also have family members suffering from mental disorders.

“It’s been very confusing to me, not knowing the diagnosis, and the prognosis. I don’t know what my role is exactly. How much do you push as a parent because he is an adult, and he wants his own life, and will this go away?” she wonders.

Hergert says she’s grateful to hear what others have to say, and learn how others have dealt with similar issues. The classes have also helped by steering her to other resources in the Spokane Community, Hergert says.

Volunteer Mentors

While dealing with several mental health disorders including depression, PTSD, and bi-polar disorder over the last 25 years, Shamra Andrews moved around the country with different jobs and as she did her anxiety and other symptoms grew worse.

“I’ve been on a mood stabilizer and antidepressant since 2007 but when I wasn’t on the right meds I was having highs and lows, mania and sometimes psychotic symptoms,” Andrews says.

“When I had mania I kept hearing voices, was feeling very elated, I was hyper and wasn’t sleeping, constantly adding activity into my life,” Andrews says. “I felt grandiose like I could do anything. There was a point where I was laughing for 12 hours straight. I lived with my sister at the time and it really scared her. I would come down from the mania and there would be consistent thoughts of death and dying and feeling suicidal.”

When she moved to the Spokane area, she took NAMI’s Peer-to-Peer classes, and signed up for its support groups. Eventually she took NAMI’s training to become a facilitator and mentor for the organization’s programs.

“I’m in the class as advocate, and I tell people, you can do this. Stick it out for the 10 weeks, you’ll learn a lot,” she says. “There is brain storming, and discussions, and we can talk about symptoms and not feel judged. It’s insightful to hear other people’s stories and just realize that you’re not alone. We’re all trying to fight the stigma that’s out there.”

Andrews says NAMI gives a voice to people dealing with mental illness, as well as family members who are also dealing with the disorders. “We’re educating people on the seriousness of this issue and helping them to see that people need support, and not ridicule. Let’s have some compassion and sympathy for those people who are suffering,” she adds.

NAMI

NAMI is a nationwide, grassroots, nonprofit, all-volunteer organization that advocates for those who live with mental illnesses and their families.

NAMI Spokane holds classes several times a year, and runs two ongoing support groups for those with mental health issues. All NAMI classes are free of charge. Membership and donations are accepted. namispokane.org

Judith Spitzer is an independent journalist and photographer.