“Oh the comfort—the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person—having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.” ~Dinah Maria Mulock Craik, poet and novelist (1826-1887)

A friend posted this quote to Facebook—which was brilliant timing—the day after a colleague passed along a vitriol-filled email—foul language, demeaning messaging, personal attacks—about errors in a magazine piece. I am first in line to thrash myself when errors slip through, while accepting responsibility and apologizing to those we may have wronged in any way. First. In. Line. And I encourage all readers to send a message at any time with their thoughts—positive or negative—when something in the magazine moves them to do so. I always prefer knowing the realities associated with our work, and being given the chance to raise the bar.

Not long ago, I posted my own grievance about an offensive headline in another local publication, which inspired a host of “Kill the Beast” comments directed toward that publication. Humans are often inclined and in the ready for a “let’s torch the place” movement. There is a fine line between holding each other accountable and trying to tear each other to shreds. I may take occasional delight in the viral meme—“May the bridges I burn light the way”—but my desire and will to honor myself and others keeps me tethered to understanding, tolerance, and kindness, and to wanting more for us all. While reading through the messages on my Facebook thread about the other publication, I realized it was a good opportunity for me to share my respect for the publication’s work—and the journalists and editors making it happen—as well.

As our region moves forward in growth and continues the pursuit of positive motion, we need to be diligent in our efforts to grow in our relationship to one another, as well. Buildings are being raised—it is so cool to see cranes breaking up the blue sky with giant triangular roof trusses swaying into place on a brand new structure’s rooftop—and we need to raise the trusses on our own understanding of one another as we continuously socially sway into new places in our thriving community. Part of the angry email I received was devoted to saying what a joke certain aspects of our community are, including those “who call themselves professionals.” Again, let’s keep climbing together because there is room for growth and development in each of us. Let’s also understand that our climb is not a solo mission where we look back and scoff at those who we may not perceive as being on the same rung. There is also room to consider, in the same vein: if you look down or back, you will eventually look forward, and not one of us has no one in front of us.

The Danish, known as the happiest humans on the planet, value the “hygge” movement. Pronounced “hoo-guh,” the term is defined as “a quality of coziness and comfortable conviviality that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being.” It’s possible to hygge alone, wrapped in a cozy blanket with a warm cup of tea, but the true expression of hygge is joining with those you appreciate, admire, and maybe even love, in a relaxed and intimate atmosphere. It’s not a solo mission to peace and quality of life, although our interpersonal health is a vital aspect of that process.

It is the weaving of individuals and community. We need to value and respect each other as a powerful collective of human possibility, while simultaneously nurturing ourselves in order to continue to rise to the occasion of offering true value to others and to our community. And, as I often love to quote, “Be the change we wish to see.”

The quote worked both ways for me: I wished the sender of the email beheld more of the “breath of kindness” in his messaging, and I reminded myself to be “a faithful hand” to sift his words and keep what was worth keeping, while letting the rest blow away. And I believe we can all work toward rising up on both sides of this quote for the betterment of our entire community.

We are Spokane Coeur d’Alene Living, and we are Spokane. Please find me on Facebook or Twitter—and hop over to “like” the Spokane Coeur d’Alene Living page—to stay connected between press dates, and share your thoughts, stories, and life in real time.

With much respect,

Stephanie Regalado

Stephanie@spokanecda.com