I received a call at the Bozzi Media offices a couple of weeks ago from a Spokane Coeur d’Alene Living magazine subscriber who wanted to cancel her subscription due to an editorial piece in the magazine she found offensive.

I told her I was sorry to hear that, but absolutely happy to honor her request. As I wrote down her information, I shared I was the editor in charge of every morsel of content, and would appreciate hearing her feedback on the specific piece that offended her.

Although I had interpreted the editorial piece differently than she had, I appreciated that she—in a state of complete and utter dissatisfaction—was willing to entertain a dialogue with me. First, to share her perspective (and because I was listening to her, I totally understood what she was saying). And second, to be open to listening to me challenge her stance with other possibilities, as I shared my interpretation and why I pushed it into the magazine.

I apologized for not having read it the way she had, and shared—in hindsight—I should have added text to help lead all readers to a better conclusion. Because it was—and is—an important enough topic to get right, I should have ensured the tone was crystal clear.

It was the If They Only Knew piece where the writer shared her experience as a genital herpes carrier. I was stunned by the honesty of the piece (always my favorite aspect of the anonymous column), and with her admittance of not always sharing her reality with partners. As divorce rates have increased, so many of us find ourselves exploring new partners who have many life experiences, and many exposures to all the world has to offer—savory and unsavory. And it’s good to be reminded, as a society in flux, that people aren’t always honest and upfront. I appreciated the writer’s plea to be seen as someone who should not be cast away in spite of being a carrier, as well (one in four women and one in five men are said to be carriers of genital herpes). But as Kristen, the subscriber who called, shared with me, the tone of the piece could be construed as honoring or celebrating the behavior, which is, indeed, incredibly dangerous. There is no honor in dishonesty and putting others at risk, ever.

As I shared my thoughts with Kristen, she stopped me and said: “You know what? I don’t want to cancel my subscription. I really like what you are saying and it makes so much sense. And I really appreciate you hearing me out and validating my concerns. That means a lot to me.”

So, cheers to Kristen, an avid reader of our magazine, a strong woman and a fiercely loving mother … for navigating a strong emotional reaction and standing up for those who may interpret it the way she did. And to being open to having a respectful dialogue without “throwing it all away” without further consideration.

I’m sharing this story to honor Kristen and every reader I’ve ever had and ever will who invests time in dialogue and who can hear me when I say: this is our community, and this is our magazine. I welcome all reader feedback as I understand the product I pull together each month is only as honorable as the collective community who inspires the content and assists in the creation of it.

“It’s not at all hard to understand a person; it’s only hard to listen without bias.” 

– Criss Jami, Killosophy

We are Spokane Coeur d’Alene Living magazine, and we are Spokane+Coeur d’Alene. Please find me on Facebook or Twitter—and hop over to “like” the Spokane Coeur d’Alene Living magazine page—to stay connected between press dates, and to share your thoughts, stories and life in real time.

To hearing each other,

Stephanie Regalado

stephanie@spokanecda.com