LILACS to Jimmy Kimmel for his good natured ribbing of Gonzaga, where he gave our city multiple nights of exposure, pretending to doubt the existence of the Spokane university. That kind of publicity is priceless, so we are amazed with the humorless who thought Kimmel needed an education. When Jon Stewart roasted Arby’s on nearly every one of his shows, the chain liked it enough that they eventually started advertising on his show. In show biz, they say the only time to be scared is when they STOP talking about you.

LEMONS to the Spokane Clean Air Agency for putting the owners of the Otis Hotel in a no-win situation, giving them permission to start work and then swooping in and issuing fines, costing the owners more than a million dollars in fees and loss of investors. Government regulators, who have never run a business of their own, have no idea how frustrating it is when they squelch dreams. The Otis is a vacant downtown eyesore, and the government should be giving them awards rather than issuing “gotcha” fines. They should educate; they should help; they should let them know exactly what is needed with clear communication before a cent is spent. We are with Ben Stuckart on this one.

LILACS to the Spokane Public Library, for installing special blue lights in their lavatories to make it difficult for drug users to inject there. Some think it’s heartless; we think they are caring for the patrons of the library, who need a safe place to read and study. I used to work in the downtown library as a teenager, and even then, the drunks would sleep for hours at tables and reek up the entire room. I can only imagine how much worse it is today. Patrons should be able to send their kids to the restrooms without fear of them getting hooked by needles in the trash. Perhaps the city could institute a safe place for drug addicts rather than allowing them to loiter in public buildings.

LEMONS to Spokane County Prosecutor Eugene Cruz for ruling that a man who was suspected of breaking his three-year old son’s leg and using a Pringles potato chip can as a splint—and beating his other two younger children so much that a local nurse described it as torture—didn’t feel he had enough evidence to convict. This is a man who was initially brought in by a SWAT team after he had been reported choking and assaulting the mother of the children. She claims that Spokane is not safe right now with this guy on the streets. We have to ask: what on earth does it TAKE?

LEMONADE to the Spokane Club, which assures me they still DO have their iconic orange rolls, and it’s pretty much still the same recipe. Not sure why it’s not on the menu, but if you ask for them, you can get them, at least for now. Maybe it would be a good story idea to offer an insider’s guide to off-menu items all over town.

LILACS to the Washington State Legislature, which voted to ease penalties on teens who “sext” each other. Under the old rules, if a teen sent a nude photo to a friend, they could be labeled a sex offender. This is another example of legislation catching up with technology and changing times. Note that we aren’t promoting sexting, but we do believe that saddling teens with a lifetime scarlet letter for doing what a lot of their peers are doing is out of proportion with the deed.