“We are on the dawn of the era where emotional intelligence is about to become the single most important trade. Your emotional capabilities to interact with others will become a very, very important trade.” —Gary Vaynerchuk

We often hear the expression, “You never really know what is going on in someone’s life.” I didn’t comprehend the magnitude of that statement until well into adulthood, and absorbing—and continuing to gain awareness and sensitivity of that notion—is something I continue working to refresh in the browser of my mind on a daily basis. 

Several years ago, I sat with a friend at a local coffee shop. Our conversation wandered around many topics, including real concerns about relationships, and some specific difficulties that friends of ours had been navigating. One of our friends suspected that her husband had been unfaithful, and that he was addicted to pornography. Another friend had recently lost her mother to cancer. And a third was struggling with infertility.

Then, with great sympathy, my friend wondered aloud about everyone’s ability to present a façade to the outside world, regardless of the challenging situations we all face at any given time. She even called me out, saying that as much as I choose to share with the outside world, I still put up some of the biggest façades of them all.

That didn’t resonate well with me—I feel I’m about as open as humans come. Being authentic doesn’t mean you stop everyone you meet in their tracks with your laundry list of “full disclosure: my life is a mess and listen to this massive amount of proof I have right here, on this list, clutched in the sweaty palms of my hands.” After all, there is such a thing as discretion. 

As we examined our own lives—and our own challenges—further diving down into our cores, we concluded that it wasn’t always a façade after all—or ever. It’s part of our courage. It’s how we cope. And it’s how we show up in the world. 

Regardless of our circumstances, we often wear a smile as we face the world around us, not in an effort to fool anyone into thinking our lives are shinier than theirs, but because that is part of the way we overcome obstacles. We do it for our children, we do it for our partners, we do it for our friends, colleagues and the people around us, but especially, we do it for ourselves. We do it—we keep showing up with our baggage stowed into the appropriate life compartments—because we know our ability to face difficult times, and help others around us do the same, so often starts with this simple gesture of hope.

One thing we can assume is that everyone—every single person—is facing something. Knowing the full magnitude of the challenge isn’t necessary—nor does it really matter because it’s all relative—so, just know. We show up with our challenges tucked into our heart pockets and our smiles on in spite of the burdens we bear, knowing what we know and what it took to make time for a shower that day, or to run a brush through our hair, to get the kids out the door on time, or having the big presentation ready—or editor letter written—while “never letting them see you sweat” although you feel the actual beads of moisture threatening a tangible appearance.

Humans are amazing creatures. Even when we don’t feel amazing. That bright look you see on the face of a person who is in the middle of a crisis isn’t a lie: it’s a measure of their ability to get through another challenge, to face another less-than-perfect day, and a sign of their understanding that things will get better—for themselves, and for you, too. Our smiles are a promise to us all. You can’t hold back Spring. 

We are Spokane Coeur d’Alene Living magazine, and we are Spokane and Coeur d’Alene. Please find me on Facebook or Twitter—and hop over to “like” the Spokane Coeur d’Alene Living magazine page—to stay connected between press dates, and to share your thoughts, stories and life in real time.

My best, 

Stephanie Regalado 

stephanie@spokanecda.com