Artwork by Megan Perkins

What She’s Afraid Of
It’s evening, late sun turning everything gold—even the dusty old Ford in the driveway. A woman sits on her front porch and smokes. A television sitcom plays in her living room, and she can hear the laugh track through the open window behind her. Her husband had a heart attack a week ago, and he’s still in the hospital waiting for surgery. She visits him every day, and he tells her he’s afraid of being cut open. His hands shake all the time now, and he can’t keep down his meals of rice and chicken and Jell-O. Hospital beds can make anyone look small. She thinks he’s dying but won’t say it out loud for fear it’ll come true. She drives home at night to feed the dogs, smoke, watch television, sleep. But she’s having a hard time deciding which world is more real: the hospital or everything outside of the hospital. For now she’ll just keep working at one cigarette after another as the sun sets behind the mountains. Soon stars will appear and recorded laughter that has nothing to do with her will keep punching through the calm quiet night. The world will go on, in other words, which is exactly what she’s afraid of.
Janelle Cordero is an interdisciplinary artist and educator living in Spokane. Her writing has been published in dozens of literary journals, including Harpur Palate, Hobart, and North Dakota Quarterly, while her paintings have been featured in venues throughout the Pacific Northwest. Janelle is the author of four books of poetry: Impossible Years (V.A. Press, 2022), Many Types of Wildflowers (V.A. Press, 2020), Woke to Birds (V.A. Press, 2019), and Two Cups of Tomatoes (P.W.P. Press, 2015). Stay connected with Janelle’s work at janellecordero.com.
Megan Perkins uses her brush to capture the spirit of Spokane places and events, exploring her hometown with paint and love. Follow her adventures on Instagram
@artistseyeonspokane, Facebook, and meganperkinsart.com.
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